I Wish You All The Best
Author: Mason Deaver
Published: May 14th, 2019 by Push
Pages: 329
Genre: Young Adult, Contemporary
Format: Audiobook
Source: Hoopla via Library
Rating: Five Stars
Goodreads Summary:
When Ben De Backer comes out to their parents as nonbinary, they’re thrown out of their house and forced to move in with their estranged older sister, Hannah, and her husband, Thomas, whom Ben has never even met. Struggling with an anxiety disorder compounded by their parents’ rejection, they come out only to Hannah, Thomas, and their therapist and try to keep a low profile in a new school.
But Ben’s attempts to survive the last half of senior year unnoticed are thwarted when Nathan Allan, a funny and charismatic student, decides to take Ben under his wing. As Ben and Nathan’s friendship grows, their feelings for each other begin to change, and what started as a disastrous turn of events looks like it might just be a chance to start a happier new life.
At turns heartbreaking and joyous, I Wish You All the Best is both a celebration of life, friendship, and love, and a shining example of hope in the face of adversity.
Cover Thoughts: I’m not the hugest fan of the cover BUT I love the rep and the colors so much.
First Line: “Ben, honey, are you feeling well?”
~Review~
I’m going to say now that if you want an adventurous or heavily plot driven book, you will not get it here. This doesn’t make I Wish You All The Best bad at ALL. I Wish You All The Best is a very quiet, well written, deeply important and heart wrenching book. Plus there’s a romance, so you have a bit of that! If you’re into it.
Everything I Loved:
Ben is Non-Binary – I believe I Wish You All The Best is the first book with a non-binary teen as the main character but I may be wrong on that! I Wish You All The Best is an #ownvoices novel and I can see that so clearly. I loved Ben so much! I could feel Ben’s feelings and heartache and desire to be accepted but afraid. The little things that people say in everyday life without a second thought really made me think about how I addressed people. It’s made me think to be a lot more mindful.
The Never Ending Journey of Coming Out – There is so much that Ben dealt with in regard to coming out as nonbinary, there was the everyday microaggressions, the fallout from their parents, the lack of acceptance and the fear. Not to mention that they will always have to come out. I can’t imagine how draining that has to be.
Hannah – Oh, I related to Hannah. I related to her so much. I felt defensive of Hannah when it came to Ben’s feelings but Ben’s feelings are so valid and it’s their experience. I could really understand Hannah’s desire to get away from what was always going to be a toxic situation. Hannah is a “explode first, think later” kind of person and that is me. Oh, has that ever been me so much.
The True Family – It’s true but it’s not perfect by any accounts. First of all, Hannah is super accepting of Ben. She and her husband, Nathan accommodated Ben and did so much for them. Ben deserved that so much. I love how Hannah asked Ben right away to correct her if she used their wrong pronouns. There were little things that Hannah didn’t think about in regards to Ben and how they would feel.
An instance of this is their clothes shopping, Hannah takes Ben to the “Men’s” section automatically then goes to the “Women’s” section herself. It was just programmed in her brain that Ben would want more masculine clothes. Like Ben says though, clothes don’t have a gender. There’s a nice bonding scene between the two where Hannah encourages Ben to paint their nails. Things are not perfect between Ben and Hannah, there are things they need to get through but they work at it!
Sibling Relationship – It was fascinating to see Ben’s estranged relationship with Hannah. Hannah left when Ben was eight which left a serious hole in their heart that doesn’t just magically heal itself. It’s hard and painful and requires therapy which they go to and so much patience. Ben felt crappy for not being entirely happy with Hannah and feeling upset over Hannah’s leaving. I understod how they felt betrayed and abandoned and not even cared for. I mean, gosh, they had to deal with their shitty parents all by themselves for ten years!
It made me sad to read about it because I so wanted things to just be okay but this isn’t a Hallmark movie. There is no magical “I’m sorry” and “I forgive you” and everything’s perfect again. Not by far. I would have loved that but I Wish You All The Best has such rawness when it comes to the messiness that families can be whether they’re completely toxic or on their way to healing. Actually, this is a really good point. Hannah was wiling to put in the work to fix her relationship with Ben because she loves them and it’s important. Ben’s parents? They weren’t.
Therapy – So. Much. Therapy. It was great! I loved how therapy was something that Ben didn’t want to do but Hannah urged them to go to at least one session. Ben came around to liking it pretty well and it was nice to see that positivity of therapy happening. It can be so hard to start going and I’m proud of Ben for making that step.
Medication Rep – Speaking of therapy, Ben struggles with panic attacks or anxiety attacks. They felt so real to me, if you’re cautious to that, you may be careful reading. In addition to therapy, Ben also gets on medication for his struggles with depression and anxiety. I Wish You All The Best shows how it can take a lot of time to get the right one.
The Romance – Ben meets a guy named Nathan who I adored so much! Nathan was so pure and soft and such a…dare I say it, Hufflepuffy? Nathan is potentionally bisexual as well. I loved how he kept trying to engage with Ben and wanting to be their friend. I could see why Ben wanted to keep Nathan away and he did come across strongly sometimes. I felt their relationship was definitely earned in the end and I loved the slow burn of it. I love a good happily ever after.
Friends – Okay, so at the beginning, Ben is friends with this super famous Youtuber named Mariam who has helped Ben along on their own journey. Mariam is a Muslim, non-binary Youtuber who I liked a lot. I always adore seeing online friendships bloom and how important they are once people are “in real life”. There’s an occasion where Ben said they liked that Mariam was like right there in their phone and it was so true. I know I would have a lot harder time if I didn’t have my friends available via the phone! That’s not all though, Ben makes friends too! Besides Nathan, there’s an awesome friend group shown who I love to pieces!
Some Things I Didn’t:
This is mainly just going to be to complain about Ben’s parents.
Ben’s Emotionally Abusive Parents – Oh my gosh, Ben’s Parents are the worst! They are an AWESOME example of what not to do when you have a child coming out to you when you’re a parent. I was horrified but sadly, not the least bit surprise because I know people can be beyond crappy. I loved I Wish You All The Best for immediately jumping into what can happen when you don’t have accepting parents. I felt for Ben so much because their parents were an Entire Mess and a half. It made me so upset to see Ben try to move on with their life as best as they could and even give their parents a chance only for them to let Ben down. Again.
The Ending – The ending seemed a little improbable to me, but you know what? CisHet couples have their moments all the time so this isn’t a big complaint or a complaint at all. And honestly? Ben deserved their success.
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